Looking to Him...

Looking to Him…

The past 3 days I have felt depressed, sad, angry, tired. I’ve cried so much and carried the pain like a boulder. Yesterday as the patterns showed up to tell me I was worthless, fat, ugly, etc. I imagined Jesus saying, “Look at me, you only need Me.”. Over and over again. I believe, and yet the fear is real. I don’t want to have false hope only to be in the same place again.

This morning I am feeling so much better and the fear comes up once again. Did I release anything, or am I going to cycle back to where I was? I feel so afraid to believe I may be healed, at least in part, so afraid to believe. And I choose to look to Him and walk into the light anyway. What could be worse than being healed and not believing it?

This is why Jesus told the lame man to take up his bed and walk. He wanted him to break the pattern by leaving the pool he had sat at for years. For me, I get to turn from the beliefs and thoughts that have run my life for decades. I get to choose, and I choose freedom. I choose to trust, even though I do it on shaking legs and a fearful heart. He is all I need. I choose to look to Him and believe.

Much love,

Jules ❤