Resources...

Resources…

As of this writing I am working as a front end supervisor at Costco. At times in this position I am running the front end; meaning that I am ensuring that everyone is getting breaks and lunches on time, that we have enough people to help push carts and get returns put back, etc. It’s a big job and when we have people call out sick, it puts a strain on keeping things running smoothly.

Yesterday as I was talking with one of the managers, I realized a pattern of not recognizing my resources. As a single mother, especially when my kids were struggling, I felt very much alone. I looked for but couldn’t find resources, I had precious little support and that often came with a dose of judgement and criticism. I learned that if there was a problem to fix, I was most likely on my own to fix it. There came a point when I stopped looking for help or resources and just figured things out on my own the best I could. I saw this pattern at work last night, and this morning recognize it in my daily life. It’s really hard for me to ask for help, and often I don’t see resources because I don’t believe they’re there. I don’t “lean on” ,as my friend puts it, my Savior. To be honest, I don’t believe He can/will help me. Sure He can heal a leper and make a blind man see and create the whole world, but somehow I have believed I am beyond His atoning sacrifice, beyond His ability to heal.

As I saw this I chose to lay down my needs, wants, burdens at His feet and humbly asked for His help. I spoke with Him about how small and overwhelmed I feel sometimes and asked for Him to teach me how to move forward, to be filled with His love until it naturally overflows to those around me.

I can’t make these changes on my own, they are too engrained, there are too many, and I believe (even just a little) that He has the power to help me with all of this. My only requirement is to let them go, to lay them at His feet.

Can you relate? What can you lay down today?

Much love,

Jules ❤