Peeling onions...

Peeling onions…

Feelings are like onions…which are like Ogres, sooo I guess I’m an Ogre?

I have learned so much, yet I tend to come back to some of the same patterns over and over again. I gain insight, feel like I’m shifting, then I’m back again. In the past I felt I was not progressing, but now I see that I’m simply peeling onions. I feel and process a situation, then when it comes up again I process another layer of that same situation. I learn new insights, find new lessons each time.

Yesterday after I wrote my post on owning my energy I wrote the following in my journal:

The voice has become so loud, drowning out all the light, coking the possibilities. They don’t see me. They think I’m stupid. They don’t appreciate me They never think I do/am enough. They’re so mean to me.

I thought it was “them”, but it’s always been me. I don’t see me. I think I’m stupid. I don’t appreciate myself. I never think I do/am enough. I’m so mean to myself.

I have ignored my inner child, not listening to or seeing the feelings, the energy trapped in my body because I was determined that I was the victim of “them”. All along I’ve bullied and lied to myself, keeping me trapped, locked in tis cage.

Freedom is owning everything. Every experience, every heartache, every betrayal. That’s where my power lies- in the truth. I have betrayed myself all these years, punishing myself for being a victim. I didn’t know any better, and now I do.

So comes the pain and the reckoning. Feeling fully and owning completely is the only way to loving deeply.

As I sit with this I feel the “ice” that has encased my body begin to melt. I have done so much work, I’ve healed so much, and I’ve held on by playing the role of the victim. As I take ownership of everyting I feel the stories and patterns slipping away like sand through an hourglass (so are the days of our lives- ha ha).

This is freedom. This is power. This is love.

This is peeling the onion, one layer at a time.

Much love,

Jules ❤