Patterns are like the mafia...

Patterns are like the mafia…

Patterns are like the mafia. Every time I try to get out, they pull me back in. When I was on my 14 day covid “staycation” I was pretty isolated. I meditated, watercolor painted, read, worked out without much exposure to the outside world. Now I am back at work where it feels pretty unsafe. People are complaining about each other, frustrated, short tempered. People are looking for flaws rather than good things. And I feel myself being drawn back into that old patter of “get them before they get me”. Yuck.

So today, when I was feeling attacked or seeing myself being judgmental, I decided to love myself instead of telling another story (or a new chapter to the old story is more like it). To be honest I hope that I can overcome this, and I know that I get to love the part of me that feels like the only way to protect myself is to fight back or find someone else’s flaws. So I’ll choose to love the part of me that wants me to be somewhere different than I am. To be someone different than I’ve been. Maybe loving the parts of me that feel dark and heavy is the best and easiest way out. Maybe.

Will you join me? Can you love the parts of yourself that feel like the Godfather, drawing you back into the old story over and over again? Let’s see what happens if we do.

Much love,

Jules ❤