Deep thoughts...

Deep thoughts…

Deep thoughts (not by Jack Handy- ha ha). My eating has been a mess lately. With the stress of my mom and the stress at work, the end of the day comes and I want to soothe myself with food. I eat well during the day, but at night- yikes. As I was sitting with this this morning I was able to see some deep thoughts that are not helping the problem. You’re so fat. You’re stupid. You’re disgusting. These thoughts are circulating around my brain, unattended. No wonder I want to hide in food, I’m bullying myself throughout the day for not being perfect. I’m still resisting what is. And even when I “accept” what is, rather than staying in the feeling (I feel fat, stupid, disgusting) and letting that be fully seen, I’m off to the next step. Reframing what I want to feel, talking about the possibilities, telling myself I’m loved and worthy no matter my size, etc. Bless my heart.

As I sit with feeling fat the tears immediately start to flow. I feel so hurt, so unseen- by me! Today I get to practice noticing what I’m feeling and really sit in it. Not so it will go away, not to move on. Just sit with the feeling until it is fully seen. Until I am fully seen by myself.

That is my nurturing today. I get to radically love and accept all of me, especially the heavy emotions that are sitting in my body.

Much love,

Jules ❤