Hiding...

Hiding…

I realized this morning that I was hiding from my feelings as much as my siblings are about my mom. I’m focused on caretaking and making sure things are planned so she doesn’t worry while others pretend she’ll be fine or get angry or laugh and joke (don’t get me wrong, I have laughed a lot as well as a way to lift my energy, not to hide from my feelings). I’ve continued to meditate, but it’s not as effective as I have grown more and more exhausted from getting things taken care of and checking in with my mom. There is a constant worry that I won’t be there in the end for her because I feel she is worried about being alone when she passes. It’s the perfect storm brewing.

Today I get to sit at home in the quiet before I go to work and let the tears that are just under the surface flow. I get to talk with my Father and Savior about my concerns and lay them there. I get to nourish myself by taking the time to refuel before I go to work.

How about you? Are there feelings that are just under the surface that you’re hiding from? Can you take some time today to sit with them?

Much love,
Jules ❤