You've got to feel it to heal it...
A couple years ago I took my boys to Oregon and we drove past the beautiful Multnomah Falls on the way. There is something about waterfalls that I love. When I visited my friend in Cordova, Alaska we had to stop at every waterfall so I could take a picture of it. Maybe it’s an example of the kind of faith I long for, the water willingly hurtling into space. Freefall.
That is one reason I meditate. If I had been honest, I probably would have been prescribed medication for depression for most of my life. As someone who feels deeply this life has been painful for me. My family is wonderful, and feelings were a sign of weakness, brokenness. So I learned to push them down. I pushed them down with food, with laughter, with TV, with self help books and gurus. I pushed them down with spirituality and service. And I got sick. Somehow I thought if I “earned” the atonement, God would take away the trials that felt insurmountable. When that didn’t work, I got even more sick. Until I was in so much pain that I was finally ready to turn my life over to God and ask for help.
When I meditate I don’t do anything “enlightened”. I simply sit and watch my thoughts. If I watch them long enough, often they will lead to feelings. Other times I sit down with a challenge and feel the feels right away, while still other times I sit and feel like nothing is happening. Let me tell you a secret. Shhh- get closer. Something is most certainly ALWAYS happening. It’s like getting fit or loosing weight. Days, weeks, sometimes even months may go past with little or no sign of progress, then “all at once” you see big differences. The results are happening every day, sometimes it just takes a minute to see them.
So, if you haven’t tried meditation, I dare you to do it. If you’re feeling agitated- perfect. If you’re feeling joyful- excellent. If you’re neutral- awesome. Just sit where you are and feel into your body. Take a few deep breathes, feeling the air go in and out and ask yourself what you are feeling in this moment. Don’t explain it, just stick to the feeling and watch where it goes.
I promise, there is peace and joy on the other side that you can’t imagine yet.
Much love,
Jules ❤
